ChloroformBoy

oh darling, i wish you were here

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pocket rockets by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

pocket rockets

the ace up your sleeve is a wine red heart hand exposed to all players (a hand i wish to hold) cupid’s casino is rigged yet in wagers of romance, you go all in–i fold my arms & stuff your heart with dollar bills just to break even (jackpot: three withered roses in a row) i wear a spade on my sleeve a former heart charred nicotine, soiled by the plaque of the past (historians hate this) i keep a quilt of used condoms bandaged over the hips of my heart: a makeshift mask (kiss me on my poker face) i think: if i keep trying eventually you will love me. this is the gambler’s fallacy (see also: insanity) we are both such addicts for heartbreak. - (my ribcage weighed down by broken horseshoes until my bones shatter & collapse like a house of cards) –they say a rabbit’s foot is lucky but the tortoise won’t accommodate the amputated hare –they say 7 is lucky, but who ever heard of a 13 year itch? –they say four-leaf clovers are lucky but not when playing nature’s roulette 1) loves

swallowing its tale by ChloroformBoy, literature

maybe i should wear contacts by ChloroformBoy, literature

My Heart is a Jukebox without an Audience by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

My Heart is a Jukebox without an Audience

If music be the food of love, I’m a hungry Van Gogh, ear chopped off, unable to feed this deafened h(ear)t. No, I can no longer listen to the playlist I curated— of all the songs that remind me of you, this lover’s picnic in my mind, some idyllic fantasy where we sip water bottle Vodka in Sunset Park and wax nostalgic over flirty bartenders & animated gophers. In such a scene like this, you’d serenade to me about the exes you still love, your cigarette-stained fingers plucking guitar strings—and I'd think, oh, how I wish they were me, as you fumble over a D minor chord (my initials) & I envy your past muse. Al

The Anachronistic Fountain Thief (a sonnet) by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

The Anachronistic Fountain Thief (a sonnet)

A drive away, yet centuries apart I wish that I could kiss away your plagues I’m digging through the cushions of your heart A penny for your thoughts - but naught would change For I could steal the wishes out of wells But still could not make heads or tails of You The fate of feelings, only time will tell My soul, a cuckoo clock long overdue See you live in the mistakes of the past And I live in a future of what-ifs These flights of fancies got my heart jet lagged But any trip spent with you is a gift Schrödinger’s hypotheticals aside The coin of us still spinning on its side

misalignment by ChloroformBoy, literature

archipela.go.away by ChloroformBoy, literature

and to think my greedy canine heart almost drowned by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

and to think my greedy canine heart almost drowned

my lips catch fire from calling out your name trying to catch your attention like a deadly flu (your smile has no vaccine) trying to catch your heart in my fishing net (but your love is like a shark) trying to catch the next flight to wonderland (population you) trying to catch myself from falling for you or your lies (but this balcony begs to differ) trying to catch everything but feelings but oh silly me i must have forgotten my baseball g love

surrogate love contagion by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

surrogate love contagion

things i wanted to tell you: (crying in your car edition) excuse my embarrassment, but you're just so beautiful & i’m just so unavailable excuse my apprehension, but i want it to be perfect (we’re always bad timing & worse luck) excuse my curiosity, but i want to read the braille of your heart, feel its wants and needs and regrets (you can feel mine) excuse my aesopian analogies, but i’m the greedy dog who can't swim to clarify: you're the reflection; temptation, the river; me, drowning excuse my contingency, but you're the understudy of my hydrophobic heart, the backup star of its new play: a long-awaited romance with

TARtrazine + Feathers by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

TARtrazine + Feathers

i am a black portrait in a golden frame, a black swan posing as a golden goose; this heart of gold is a fraud in my chest just black tar dipped in yellow paint. cosmetic graffiti stains my soul a splintered onyx, a reverse midas, on my throne of gilded charcoal; i’m just another shadow puppet caught in a xanthic masquerade, waiting for the dye to wash away.

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pocket rockets by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

pocket rockets

swallowing its tale by ChloroformBoy, literature

maybe i should wear contacts by ChloroformBoy, literature

My Heart is a Jukebox without an Audience by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

My Heart is a Jukebox without an Audience

The Anachronistic Fountain Thief (a sonnet) by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

The Anachronistic Fountain Thief (a sonnet)

misalignment by ChloroformBoy, literature

archipela.go.away by ChloroformBoy, literature

and to think my greedy canine heart almost drowned by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

and to think my greedy canine heart almost drowned

surrogate love contagion by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

surrogate love contagion

TARtrazine + Feathers by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

TARtrazine + Feathers

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it's hard to love a trainwreck by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

it's hard to love a trainwreck

Note to self: Do not fall. apart. Do not fall in love with a Scientologist. Do not let a coin make life- changing decisions. Do not listen to the leaves, or to Honest Abe; he says Heads, but I say Tails. Do not listen to the Devil on your left shoulder; shrug your right one, but do not listen to the angel, either. Do not listen to your libido; listen to your heart, even when you're going deaf. Do not listen to The All-American Rejects when you're depressed. Do not listen to this. Do not take my advice. Do not take a chance. Do not take two pills. Do not take Physics; do not take out the trash. Do not take out al

anthem for the damned and lost by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

anthem for the damned and lost

i'll settle for the outliers in their imperfect homes and assume them Gods and Kings and paragons of what-i-wish-i-was. i'll ignore the fire surrounding the castle and focus on the gold. i'll realise Time is jealous of Infinity for never worrying about ending, yet Infinity is jealous of Time for never handling the thought of eternal Eternity. mirror, mirror, on the wall. who's the most fucked-up of all? we all are we all are we all are we all are we all are each other's untold secrets; we all are each other's forgotten past; we all are each other's invisible eraser; we all are each other's inabilities to be loved, to l

climate changes of your thighs by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

climate changes of your thighs

please understand why you and the weather aren't best friends anymore: because you called a twister tornado in bed. please understand that the rain doesn't fall when you cry, and it will not snow on your birthday. please understand that you were born during a thunderstorm, and that's why your mother named you disappointment. please understand that you will die during typhoon season– your last word: goodbye, your voice shivering like an electric whirlwind, your last breath stolen by a salty hurricane. please understand that when you left, the sun still shone like the jealous star it is– a ball made of hydro

what to do if california sinks by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

what to do if california sinks

step one: when you realize the west coast is drowning in the sea's heart, don't panic. not now, not here, not ever. no matter how much it kills you that the left side holds every dream you forced yourself awake in, from the flame-ridden weddings to being bludgeoned with a bat, don't fucking panic. step two: realize that the girl on the right will actually talk to you, and even listen! disregard the fact that you've spent half your life, half an hour, fishing in an empty lake (not that you ever had bait anyway) step three: realize dreams are just imaginary friends; nightmares, imaginary enemies. realize evaporation is fake a

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it's hard to love a trainwreck by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

it's hard to love a trainwreck

text message translator by ChloroformBoy, literature

the best 45 minutes of the day by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

the best 45 minutes of the day

Coffee kisses in your car, listening to the uhn tiss bass as my tongue caved into the cave of your lips. Let's pretend a heart is an Adam Lambert song blasting the speakers in your Shit-Mobile. Give me your Fever; I will be your Advil, a prescribed lover, if you'll take me in the recommended dosage, take me in your arms, take me to the moon, carry me to the sky. There were no stars in Vegas until I found you.

a nonymous confession, please. by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

a nonymous confession, please.

The last time I wrote about you, the only time I wrote about you, I could still remember what your voice sounded like. Now I'm just peeling bandages off my sleeves, pretending I can laugh about my wounds in a year or so. But I only have courage when there's a "dis" in front of it. Like the "dis" in disappointment. Are you disappointed? Not as much as I am humiliated, ashamed, self-afflicted secrecy; i call deliberate embarrassment. you know,,, i'm the kind of kid that never undresses his scars.

buried in pithoi by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

buried in pithoi

You leave me in such awe I could disconnect my jaw and put it in Pandora's Box; while I'm here, I'll store my hope in, hopin' it won't ever open. So I'll smother it with forty locks. Mischief is my middle name; don't tell me yours is the same. Or I'll change it to Frightened, or Dead, or Enlightened, or Sorrow or Wallow-in-Shame. Kept it hidden in an urn, phoenix ashes left to burn. Pluck my ribs, put them in Zeus's Greco Jar of Sin, tell me that I'll never learn how to turn gas into a spark, how to turn light into dark, how to turn an empty urn into a museum for my parts. You're sarcastic, masochistic. I'm a s

slow motion guilt or acid trip by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

slow motion guilt or acid trip

read my lips--lift the kiss print. come a little closer, perfect fit. read my heart's aortic charts, literature for the broken arts. read my skin cells, sex cells, jail cells. Carcinogenic, or bibliophilic. the bookstore sells cancer cells. i read this one already; it sucks. the ending sucks. all endings suck. but this one swallows. read my mind--you're on it. inside you'll find a boy in a closet, carving bones from his skeleton safety deposit read my bone structure: i'm invertebrate not a chordate. cut off my patella: loves me; break my tibia: loves me not (i put the 'fib' in 'fibula'

i'm lucid dreaming while awake by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

i'm lucid dreaming while awake

Dear My Psychokinetic Boy: Let's learn astral projection in ninety days. I'll be in Las Vegas, and you'll be in San Diego, but every night we'll meet in my dreams. You'll karate chop the monsters, protect me from banshees and incubi, bubble wrap us in energy forcefield shields. Let's learn teleportation before the twentyninth, your halfbirthday. Then we could see each other whenever you'd start to miss me or whenever I'd start to miss you. Or to kiss your lips goodnight.

you're proof love still exists by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

you're proof love still exists

i believe in imaginary numbers and telephone numbers. i believe in conjugating french verbs and french kisses. i believe in every religion and every god ever invented. i believe in psionics and biology, anatomy & astrology. because: 300 miles is nothing; $50 is nothing; 6 hours is nothing. je suis à toi. tu es à moi. i am yours, and you are mine. i worship the church in your heart, your ribcage chapel. together we defy scientific laws like gravity & distance. i believe in the art of love. i believe in a love for art. i believe in a life without you, but if i ever had to live one, i'd rather believe in death.

i want to need to need to want by ChloroformBoy, literature

Literature

i want to need to need to want

I need: double A batteries, a screwdriver, and a bottle of gin. Make that a double. Make me a sandwich, extra rum. Make me an alcoholic. Kill my liver. Hello, cirrhosis. You know how much I hate poison, hate you. You know how much I need I need: five more minutes, please. I need: to write a poem that makes sense. I need: somebody to tell me how "needing" differs from "wanting", how "addiction" differs from "obsession" or how "you" differs from you I want: the one without quotation marks

why all psychics are cheaters: by ChloroformBoy, literature

bar jokes

helen keller walked into a bar by ChloroformBoy, literature

a joke walked into a bar by ChloroformBoy, literature

a minimalist walked into a bar by ChloroformBoy, literature

a masochist walked into a bar by ChloroformBoy, literature

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household objects i imagine myself as by twelvedaysofjune, literature

Literature

household objects i imagine myself as

i. a candle. perhaps vanilla - everyone is mostly okay with vanilla, it's no one's absolute favorite, but it's pretty much always okay. i would like to be pretty much always okay. being okay is a novel concept to me. i could write a book of all the times i have wished to be okay, but it would be a rather sad book and i'm not sure anyone would read it. i'm not even sure i would read it. so i'll stick to being a candle, the kind you put up on a a shelf and never light and that's okay. ii. a napkin. great for cleaning up your messes, then easily discarded, forgotten about. i would preferably be the kind with pretty patterns, but as long as i

Ignorance I miss by I-meghan-I, literature

les berceuses ivres by toxic--sunrise, literature

Literature

les berceuses ivres

hesitation comes with intoxication, dangerous fingers and knobby knees tucked close, a hibernation under triggers and tangents, canceled subscriptions and a failure to commit liquor talks with a lisp and stutters at the thought of your bare body beneath the bar lights, a trail of wineglass shards and a swimming pool of chardonnay sip and synapse, betrayal is never just fine, so tell me a story, honey wrap me up in your paper thin skin of beauty and perfection sprinkle your half-slurred words into my open ears until your chest feels as empty as this bottle teach me how you measure love against loneliness; show me the differences between