Brickbreaker: yes, another rap

Mattress martial arts
King of Pillow Hearts
Bedsheet combat starts
In 54321

My punchlines and kickdrums
Could beat Chuck Norris' ass
beat the rhythm out Bruce Lee
knock the Chinese out Jackie Chan

I'm good for your body
Call me Dr Pilates
Fiercer than karate
Know you like em extra naughty
So don't go tryna stop me
And don't go tryna top me
Cause I'm a first class hottie
And a little bit haughty
H-A-U-G-H-T-Y
I don't even have to try
I stay fly till I die

Or maybe I'm wax lyrical
Actin' all satirical
Pretend this is a miracle
Empirical ? Illogical.
I'll render you inaudible
As if this was impossible
I make Eminem's jokes look like they came from a Popsicle
I crack rhymes so sick they belong in a hospital
Tear your hair follicles; rearrange your particles
Smash you in the monocle
And since I'm on a roll,
You get less double D's than an honour roll
The dancefloor's on fire, better stop, drop, and roll
Strobe lights, fist fights goin' out of control
If I die tonight, it's cause I ain't got a soul
And I ain't got a soulmate
But that's okay
Who needs a soulmate
Anyway
Don't need a soulmate
When you're fresher than Colgate
Got more money than a tollgate
But I think we've reached a stalemate
Jailbait

unbuckle my black belt
and smack your ass with it
now tell me how it felt
to get an ass whippin'
I'm slicker than a ninja,
Not bad for a ginga,
Whose words can make you cringe,
a painful insult-injury
sorry

Don't make me unleash my kung fu on you

I'm so clever,
You could never
Think you're better
(You do ?)
Whatever !

Pretentious not poetic
Contentious, apathetic