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Scene setting: the Paris Hotel, as I fold
the corner of a page from my Brit Lit
textbook -- story of a boy with French
lips & a Japanese heart.  god, how I miss
his Spanish smile; each dimple, a match-
ing tattoo.   Twice,  he touched my hand

with his heaven-sewn skin.  On the other hand,
my bare body lay on a hotel bed.  Alone.  I fold
my mannequin skeleton like origami   to match
the paper cranes swimming in his Neon eyes, lit
like European stars—Oh, Nostalgia.  how I miss
getting Lost in those foreign eyes during French

class.  Lust in translation.  Lost in a faux-French
Fantasyland.  I want to hold his shivering hand.
Kiss him atop this Eiffel replica.  Alas!  I missed
my chance for our Souls to tango—crashing into the fold
of his hips.  I'm not fluent in body language or candlelit
cuisines or Romance. I can't even strike a Fucking Match

against these naked candles.      So I set the match-
box back by the lamp & bible.  Pardon my French:
Be my Pillow Mint.   Je voudrais te grignoter au lit.
Meet me in the casino.  Play me like a poker hand.
I have a pair of Kings: you & me.  Ante up.  I fold.
      Your cards?  Three-of-un-kind Queens:  Miss

FacebookStatus, Miss Bitch & my favourite: Miss
Understanding.  Biology says we are not a match.
My heart begs to differ.  Sigh.  I might as well fold
these empty bedsheets.  This air tastes like French
fries & heart disease & slot machines & secondhand
smoke.  I am not your ashtray.  Don't leave me lit.

You killed me on the balcony, one star-lit
night.  You and your cocktail harlot, Miss
Scarlet.  The weapon?  Time.  When the   h our hand
struck 12, the dealer ate my wallet.  Game, set, match.
Roulette is not the same in Russia  &   French
kissing is not the same in Las Vegas.  I folded

my legs, doused in kerosene.  You lit the match
on my flesh,  kissed Miss   Right   in her French
maid costume & handed me a pamphlet: "come into the fold"
a sestina ! [link] try writing one (or don't because you probably don't have english 205)

full title: fraîches baguettes, used cigarettes, and the irony of you liking that one status on my facebook. you know, the one where i said i was writing a sestina. betcha didn't think it'd be about you, huh ? well, to be fair, neither did i.


je voudrais te grignoter au lit
=
i would like to nibble you in bed


in other news: roman reloaded is such a hot track [link]
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-03-26
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
Congrats on the DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
thank you <3
Reply
:icondietcocaine:
dietcocaine Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012   Writer
That is amazingly complicated
and absolutely beautiful,
in an offbeat sort of way.
Like gasoline rainbows.
<3
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
gasoline rainbows !
omg !
dats good !
also: thanks !

!
Reply
:iconbackintothesun:
BackIntoTheSun Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is such an impressive use of a complicated structure. To be honest, I'd never heard of a sestina before this, but what a nice way to discover it! I think I'll try it (you've inspired me!) I love your use of metaphor, and I LOVED "I fold my mannequin skeleton like origami". I didn't find it smug at all actually, and I've got real issues with self-indulgent poetry. Though I'm sure your professor knows more than me :P

For the record, this is one of the best things I've read online in a very long time. God knows it's a breath of fresh air :D

Sorry sorry sorry for such a long comment.
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
haha oh my thank yOU <33 sorry for being a bit late
also you should totes write one :3
Reply
:iconbackintothesun:
BackIntoTheSun Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ahahaha i have now, but it's not as good as yours XD I'll link you to it if you like...? :)
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012
ok :p
Reply
:iconbackintothesun:
BackIntoTheSun Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
haha you don't have to read it :P
[link]
Reply
:iconjadesfires:
jadesfires Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012   Writer
This is a captivating piece of work! Certainly deserving of a DD. I am quite impressed with your masterful working of a sestina; that form has always flustered me. It was a genius move to use the French language to have another use of "lit." That line in French made me smile. Curse dA and their obsession with short titles...the real title was much, much better. The imagery was spectacular. The use of enjambment and sentence structure worked very well; it had a nice stream of consciousness feel to it. This is excellent work and a refreshing bit of real literature among all the nonsense posing as such. I hope your instructor appreciated it as much as I do.

You have inspired me, and now I take it as a personal challenge to tackle a sestina. ^^;
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
wow oh my thanks for that lovely comment ! :3 my professor did enjoy it though she said saying foreign was redundant. it is but yeah XD you should write a sestina ! it's rather fun ^.^ lol
Reply
:iconjadesfires:
jadesfires Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012   Writer
You're welcome. If that's the only criticism she had, then she must have liked it. :D
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
she had more. such as how i get "smug" and how i let the gambling metaphor limit me
Reply
:iconjadesfires:
jadesfires Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012   Writer
Smug? I didn't see that. Well, I liked it anyway, and I think you did a great job with the gambling metaphor.
Reply
:iconflowagainstcurrent:
FlowAgainstCurrent Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
Aww, Congratulations on the DD! I used to watch you on my first account I had on here. I'm glad I found you again. I had always loved to read your poetry! :D :heart:
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
thanks <3 what was your username
Reply
:iconflowagainstcurrent:
FlowAgainstCurrent Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
No problem. :) I had to think about it..lol. It was PurpleDottedPoetry. I had the Eye of Horus as my avatar. I doubt you'd remember.
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
i remember XD
Reply
:iconflowagainstcurrent:
FlowAgainstCurrent Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
You do?
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
yupp
Reply
:iconflowagainstcurrent:
FlowAgainstCurrent Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
Okay, you must have a great memory.
Reply
:iconmazdi:
Mazdi Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
It's going to take a few reads to really get this, but man, what a lovely piece of writing. Fantastique!
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
thankss :3 ! :DD
Reply
:icontempasta:
tempasta Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
"come into the fold"

such a perfect way to end the whole thing u_u
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconrosecat13:
rosecat13 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is an amazing piece of poetry. But I think what's even more impressive is how nice you are to those who appreciate your work. It's a pleasure to find someone adept at their craft and still amazingly open.
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
nice ? i feelt douchey most of the time tbh :c but thanks nonetheless :3
Reply
:iconrosecat13:
rosecat13 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^^
Reply
:iconomerta333:
omerta333 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
4
Reply
:iconthe-upward-glance:
the-upward-glance Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012
I'm so glad I sifted through the sludge of HetaliaxReader fics and anemic poetry and stumbled upon your new deviation today~ It makes me feel vindicated in my search for a poet worth watching. Anyway~ From what I've read so far of your works, I am rather taken. They're so clever and melancholic and gay, and make me happy. I'll have to read more when I'm not already procrastinating. I forgot what a sestina was until about the third stanza, when I was like "Oh hey, that's clever, swappin' all the final words around like th-oh wait. That's what a sestina is. >.>" Hehe? I like how your lines meld together, and how adroitly you manipulated the words to your purpose. I had a feeling that French phrase was dirty. Good. Too bad yer full title didn't fit, I found it amusing. As well as the piece as a whole. I usually leave better comments, but I'm all smitten. Gonna watch you now and rape your devs later.
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012
asjdflkasdfj <3 "i usually leave better comments"
if this isn't one of your better comments then you are more articulate
than i am
XD
thanks <3333 :DD
Reply
:iconiceblueeyedgirl:
Iceblueeyedgirl Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I just Love this!!! It's totally amazing!!!
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012
thanks <3 you shoudl write one :3
Reply
:iconlula-bell-x:
Lula-Bell-X Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
this is so damn perfect, thank you so much for existing
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012
thank YOU for existing :D
Reply
:iconmeghan-solo:
meghan-solo Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
i like this but i don't know i got lost towards the end
i think it got a bit lost there
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
which part confused you ?
Reply
:iconmeghan-solo:
meghan-solo Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
i didn't get confused i just think it lost its momentum in the last couple of stanzas, from the 'you killed me on the balcony' bit
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
yeah the tercet was a bitch to write lol
Reply
:iconmeghan-solo:
meghan-solo Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
ahhhh whata bitch
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:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
lol
Reply
:iconrockstar2511:
rockstar2511 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Such a pity I took five years of Spanish. It's not at all as romantic as le français, mais I could never speak it anyway...
But this was pretty darn incredible to read! I now have the urge to try writing my own sestina! (seems kinda complicated though)
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012
spanish can be romantic, since it IS a romance language too :3 lol
and yes, write a sestina ! haha try it... i didn't want to (but i had to) and it was fun :p
Reply
:iconrockstar2511:
rockstar2511 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
To me it always seems like people speaking in Spanish are arguing... Or maybe I've been exposed to too many soap operas... Either way, French is still prettier.
Guess I'll try the sestina... :iconmaybeplz:
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:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2012
XD
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:iconlyzzy-h:
lyzzy-h Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
C'est toujours un plasir de lire tes poemes...
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
merci :3
Reply
:iconoviedomedina:
oviedomedina Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
The second stanza is amazing. Seriously, I love the lines:
"Alone. I fold
my mannequin skeleton like origami to match
the paper cranes swimming in his Neon eyes"
Thank you!
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
thank YOU :D
Reply
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