literature

i sold my heart to a physician

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Literature Text

you smell like crystal meth overdoses.
(not that i know what that smells like)
this is more than your overthecounter
tylenol prescription.  you're more than
a prescription (and i hate rhyming but)
you're an addiction, a malediction even.
a subscription to a magazine i wouldn't
read -- just stare at the pretty pictures.
stare at the pictures. become abducted
by jealousy. tear out my eyes. eat them.
tear out my mouth. eat it.  realise that's
absurd.  not care.  care.  not care. care.

not care. care not.  carry your picture
in my wallet.  the one where you're in
nothing but socks and shame.  i won't
tell you this is my favourite (because i
lost my mouth to my stomach) but it is

(in my wallet for a reason.
you know how broke i am.
i've spent all my money on
pills i can't ingest.  but you
know what? fuck my doctor
and my pharmacist and my
drugdealer.  oh wait that's
you, my bad. no nevermind,
you're just the DRUG i used
to DEAL with life. whatever)

no, i'm not a crackhead.
i prefer the term addict.
i prefer the term desire.
i prefer the term in lust.
                   in lust is a phrase, dipshit
i prefer the phrase: "you're cured."
(but we both know that's absurd.)

i prefer the term: medicated.
you prefer the term: tricked.
(for a disease, you're pretty
cunning. or just pretty. who
knows? not me, obviously. i
ate my eyes. not the point.)

what they don't teach you
in rehab: what to do when
you run out of bottles. how
to handle a panic attack. or
the side effects of rejection.

(see: obsessions.
see: withdrawals.
see: your picture,
my wallet. oh you
know this already)

the cut-up magazine pictures
tell me to look in my medicine
cabinet.  i do but reluctantly.
what the fuck am i supposed
to do when i find a note that
says: i lied; i'm no analgesic.

this is called the placebo effect,
though i prefer the term Deceit.
except drugs are icky.
(is 18 post-teen yet ?)

coming soon: to apothecaries everywhere
(except how archaic and useless they are)
© 2010 - 2024 ChloroformBoy
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I need my picture back!!!